Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
      Customer: A white one.
      ******************************
      Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
      Customer: Your left or my left?
      ****************************
      Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print.
      Every time I try, it says, 'Can't find printer.'
      I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor,
      but the computer still says he can't find it.
      ****************************
      Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
      Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.
      ****************************
      Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
      Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
      Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
      Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
      Customer: OK!
      Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
      Customer: Yes.
      Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in.
      ****************************
      Customer: I can't get on the Internet.
      Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
      Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
      Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
      Customer: Five dots.
      ****************************
      Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
      Customer: Netscape.
      Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
      Customer: Oh, sorry... Internet Explorer...
      ****************************
      Customer: I have a huge problem.
      A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer,
      but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
      ****************************
      Tech support: How may I help you?
      Customer: I'm writing my first email.
      Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
      Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address,
      but how do I get the little circle around it?
      ****************************
      This one and the next are our personal favorites!
      A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
      Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
      Customer: 'No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point.
      The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine.'
      ****************************
      And last but not least!
      Tech support: 'Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time.
      That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen.
      Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager.'
      Customer: I don't have a P.
      Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.
      Customer: What do you mean?
      Tech support: 'P'......on your keyboard, Bob.
      Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!


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